Monday, July 27, 2015

Beach Sloth is creating Blogs

                Beach Sloth is a project I created officially on July 27th, 2010. I love blogging about people. There is so much culture to explore and support. Ever since I began Beach Sloth I have not needed a TV for anything. My life has been fulfilled seeing what wonderful pieces of work made it online into my browsers, my emails, my PDFs, my videos, and my music. Honestly thanks to Beach Sloth I have been exposed to more culture than I could ever possibly wrap my arms around. 

                That is why I created a Patreon account. I could use a few sponsors to help me meet my monthly expenses which are pretty small. I live frugally. At this point I do not need much to survive since I have cut down what I consider my needs. What I do know that I need, what I am passionate about, is all the wonderful people I have reviewed on this blog. Countless individuals that I have been fortunate enough to meet have become incredibly close friends, the kinds of friends that I can confide in and treat just like those people I have met in person.

                Financial support for Beach Sloth gives me a reason to spend a greater amount of time on auxiliary aspects of the project. Already I have released an e-book through Amazon, a chapbook I printed myself, an album free for download, an e-book released for free through Peanut Gallery Press (which has been favorably mentioned by Dennis Cooper), and a book through Dig That Book Co. So I try to keep Beach Sloth as active as I possibly can. 

                Everything I create for the blog shall continue to be free. I have great plans for Beach Sloth, including an eventual full-length book, another full-length album offered free of charge, and smaller e-books and chapbooks. People who feel like contributing money to me via Patreon can do so right

                I also understand a lot of my readership cannot afford to support me via Patreon. My presence on Patreon will not change anything about what I can for the blog. All it means is if someone wants to support me financially outside of the usual avenues of:

And – my Paypal account, which has since become an MEME 

             Recently I have also decided to start a Fiverr account which basically expands what I do on a regular basis into new forms. If you are interested in my Fiverr work (want something written, shared, re-tweeted, etc.) you can go:


They can. It is that simple. Nothing else will change. I shall continue Beach Sloth, this passion project of mine, because I think that what I do is rewarding in ways outside of mere monetary concerns. My ultimate goal for Beach Sloth is to have it financially support me and a small group of writers I particularly like (I have people in mind for this). That is far away but with Patreon that can become considerably easier. Thank you for reading this and thank you for coming to my little corner of the universe. 

                Additionally I would like to thank everyone who has been able to support me on Patreon. It means more to me than I can possibly express.

Monday, February 23, 2015

Advertising on Beach Sloth

                Today on this old Blog I have a special announcement: I am offering advertising up to whoever is interested. By no means is this going to dramatically change much of anything. After a few years of pouring my heart and scroll into this fine invention I’m ready to take things to the next level. 

                Advertising is in a few forms. Anybody interested in advertising can feel free to contact me at the following address:


                I use that address exclusively for anything payment or Beach Sloth business related. That address proved to be infinitely helpful whenever I have sold T-shirts or chapbooks. Anybody can buy either of those things from me still. 

                T-shirts, Buttons, Etc. go here.
                Chapbooks go here.

                I offer a few things for advertising purposes. As the blog is now an increasingly smaller part of what I do I also offer other places to advertise:

                My Twitter
                My Tumblr

                My advertising efforts have already begun prior to this post. Nobody has noticed yet so I figured now would be a great time to take things to the next level. Whoever is interested in advertising through any of my online platforms can do so. Simply email me, let me know what you need, what sort of prices you would be willing to pay, and what kind of advertising you are hoping to do (music, literature, other products, etc.). 

                Thus far my advertising efforts have been pretty successful since they have reinforced rather than taken away from what I have already done. Beach Sloth is a huge passion project for me. I hope to continue doing exactly what I love doing on all platforms. This project has taken on a life of its own. My initial estimate for the length of Beach Sloth was a year, tops, maybe two years. Now it is close to entering its fourth year, hence my desire to try and make this more sustainable for me. 

                Note that I am going to continue this Blog for the indefinite future. There is no specific end in sight for this site. I want to continue doing this with the least amount of interruption possible. I am infinitely thankful for everything everyone has managed to do for me. I have received great support for this project which is why it has continued this long. 

                Whoever is interested in simply donating me money (through the kindness of their heart) can do so via my PayPal account: I will continue to blog for you. That is a promise.

Saturday, October 4, 2014

#Urananimal by Nicholas Spence

                #Urananimal demands to be read aloud. Flow moves the piece forward. The reader must surrender themselves to the currents held within every forward slash. Attempts to find patterns are greatly rewarded. Variations on the language give the book a timeless quality. Within the giant rivers of text there are ways to discover the true meaning of these many words. Nicholas Spence opts for extreme speed with his collection. Yet underneath the currents are commonalities that manage to bind the entire piece together.  

                Themes about death, America, and poetry abound throughout the collection. Many times the death is quite literal. Nicholas Spence mentions death or alludes to it multiple times. Repetition of these musings help to give the giant blocks of text a level of consistency. America gets a number of mentions. From the “sun glass wear community college” to references to Tennessee and Dan Rather (some of the few proper nouns to be found in the collection) Nicholas Spence rushes forth with an inordinate amount of energy. 

                Poetry tries to bring the thing together. The few uses of repetition try to mimic a natural rhythm and stand out for their unusual placement. Nearly all of the collection refuses to re-use the same lines. A few moments the poetry rhymes yet these are extremely rare moments. The rhymed poetry does work well when said aloud for it shows off flair. Whenever these rhymed sections appear they reinforce the notion that #Urananimal ought to be spoken and not read. 

                #Urananimal gains enormous power when spoken aloud. Every block of text is perfectly broken up by the forward slash. This usage is important. By letting the forward slashes serve as a pause it gives off the impression that the language is speaking rather than simply being written. With this level of engagement the work has the requirement of needing to be read aloud. 

                Aspects of the poem work with and against the idea of technology. Over the course of the piece there are allusions to the Internet and its ecosystem. The original birthplace of these poems was from a Twitter account of Nicholas Spence’s creation. Even the hashtag in #Urananimal’s title indicates a certain fondness for the medium. It certainly helps that these are tweet-length sections. Yet the entire thing once pieced together becomes something much larger. #Urananimal is an epic poem collection for and by the Internet. If the Dadaists were still around they would be proud to claim #Urananimal as one of their own.  

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Dylan McGuire – Gravity (Or Lack Thereof)

                Dylan McGuire’s “Gravity (Or Lack Thereof)” rocks the way rock should. With a great deal of energy throughout the entire collection there is never a dull moment. Everything feels forceful from the driving rhythm to the powerful vocals. Well-crafted pop rarely sounds this good and Dylan McGuire makes it sound so easy. Dylan McGuire’s vocals are reminiscent of an earlier era of rock, a more earnest one. 

                “Sunny and 71” starts the album off with an optimistic kick. Neatly injecting a sense of humor within the narrative helps to make it one of the highlights of the collection. Taking a slightly mellower approach with “Changed” Dylan McGuire explores introspective moments. For “Try to Stop Me” Dylan McGuire creates an infectious groove that grows ever stronger eventually peaking at the end with a nice well-deserved sprint to the defiant finale. “Tracy Likes” is a particularly sweet song perhaps the best thing on the whole album with the anxiety built up until the breaking point. On “Parking Lot” the driving rhythm gains a particularly emotive touch to it with light flourishes of sadness that rise up. For the finale Dylan McGuire spreads out with the epic “Jack of All Trades” slowly worming its way through the narrative that ties the song together. 

Instantly catchy, remarkably clever with an emotional core that guides each song, “Gravity (Or Lack Thereof)” is a memorable collection and a true testament to excellent pop craftsmanship.


                TOGEPI is a Pokémon. Like all good Pokémon TOGEPI desires to get caught. A world without TOGEPI is a world full of sadness. What TOGEPI brings to the table is a sense of true compassion for other fellow Pokémon. Many claim that Pokémon is a basic show with cute adorable characters that engage in fake battle for little to no reason. For those who know the truth Pokémon and TOGEPI specifically, are real.

                1943 the world was at war. Nobody could see an end to a war that had claimed so many lives. Scientists were working like mad to discover the greatest breakthrough, a thing that could end the war. Mad scientists came about from this extreme stress. One of the scientists, a fellow by the dubious name John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt, came up with an experiment so maddening that it literally tore a hole into the cosmos. 

                Dubbed “The Philadelphia Project” the mission was to cloak ships from Axis detection. The plan did not go smoothly. Many sailors found themselves entering unsavory ports, vertexes. Out of the hole ripped in the cosmos came adorable cute creatures. Deemed a threat by the US military the Pokémon were stored in a secret location in Area 51 and spread out evenly across Northern Alaska. 

                Area 51 kept the Pokémon safe from prying foreign eyes. Those Pokémon in Northern Alaska began to suffer from the effects of too little and too much sunlight. Gradually those Pokémon went mad being able to only say their name using various different inflections. Upon the fall of the Iron Curtain the military budget in the United States was drastically slashed. Keeping up the Northern Alaskan Pokémon project became untenable. 

                Pokémon saw this decreased security as a chance to break free. Led by TOGEPI they made
their way across the Bering Strait but disliking the cold north they went south. Eventually the Pokémon reached Japan and asked for political asylum. Japan granted asylum after intense negotiations with the United States and TOGEPI. Later their struggle was transformed into an award-winning, critically acclaimed show. However that show failed so they just made the show “Pokémon” and hoped saying their names while looking cute would pay the bills. It did. 

                TOGEPI brought the Pokémon to salvation. As acknowledgement for the great work he was represented as the most empathetic character on “Pokémon”. TOGEPI’s ability to care is one of the true hallmarks of a good leader. Though the show does not get into TOGEPI’s backstory TOGEPI later got a movie based around him. Entitled “Freddy Got Fingered” it elegantly represented everything TOGEPI stood for and worked in his life to get. TOGEPI reached the top of that mountain to look below and see a beautiful career made infinitely excellent.

Ode to Plain Yogurt by Catalina Gallagher

                Yogurt is the food that changed the world. Before yogurt came about the world was a dark place. People did not know what to do with themselves. Millions of people died due to a lack of yogurt in their lives. Individuals now living live a life of luxury of delicious yummy yogurt. With this is mind Catalina Gallagher presents an Ode to Plain Yogurt. Individuals might want to sit down when they watch this life-changing video. 

                Ever since yogurt busted out on the scene like a sex machine yogurt has gotten fancier and fancier. New features are added to yogurt with every new technological advance. Long ago a person had only plain yogurt. Today’s yogurt has a lot more features. For one yogurt can be consumed in tube form for extreme activity. Brand new yogurt contains anti-lock brakes an important feature if yogurt ever skids on frozen ice. Sure a person could put snow tires on yogurt but that makes yogurt far more cumbersome. 

                The world of yogurt suffered a few blows during the financial meltdown of 2007. Sub-prime mortgages adversely affected the yogurt market. Overnight yogurt derivatives became worthless. Individuals who made a killing in collateralized yogurt found themselves with worthless yogurt. With the help of the US government and coordinated efforts across the world the yogurt market had to be bailed out to the tune of nearly ninety billion dollars, most of which has been paid back with interest by international yogurt business consortiums. Many argued that the ‘too big to fail’ yogurt conglomerates needed to be broken up. However with over thirty million people employed by the yogurt industry in the US alone, the yogurt industry is an important backbone of the US economy. 

                Catalina Gallagher keeps this in mind as she composes perhaps her greatest masterpiece. Akin to the great American novel if the great American novel was a twelve second YouTube video, Catalina Gallagher wows the viewer. Unlike a boring author she gets right to the point. Multiple people who watched the video claim its therapeutic effects cured them of their blindness. Yes the power of culture is too great to possibly ignore. Life goes on for yogurt. No yogurt can compare with the exquisite genius that Catalina Gallagher possesses. Unlike Catalina Gallagher, yogurt cannot compose melodies. Additionally yogurt is yogurt. Catalina Gallagher’s artwork proves she is more than yogurt she is a true legend.