Thursday, October 15, 2015

Beach Sloth - It doesn't matter what you look like on the outside it’s what’s on the internet that counts 11.0

                Among the masterpieces of the world Beach Sloth’s debut poetry collection is the best. Other forms of art are stupid compared to what Beach Sloth has effortlessly accomplished in his debut poetry publication. Writers yearn to truly navigate the depths of the human soul the way an anonymous dad sloth does with absolute ease. Throughout the collection Beach Sloth goes from hilarious to tragic in mere fractions of an inch. Of course this may be due to the font size but it is a grand testament to Beach Sloth’s powers as a highly blogging entity that his work appears to be perfected within these hallowed pages. 

                Trees give their lives for books but usually those books are not as good as Beach Sloth’s debut poetry collection. Few things can be. Beach Sloth has for years, nigh decades, supported people. His credo of “Support Each Other” can be felt throughout the surprising debut poetry collection. At times dark and touching Beach Sloth’s debut poetry collection takes a different approach from his actual blogging material. Yes the playfulness is still there. Yet there is specific commentary on some of the people that Beach Sloth truly cares for both people he has encountered and people he grew up with. For limiting the collection to random strangers, while fitting his blog’s aesthetic, is thrown aside for a more personal approach. 

                What is most interesting about Beach Sloth’s debut poetry collection is the dearth of sloths. Throughout the collection Beach Sloth fails to mention much in the way of actual sloths. Maybe this is because Beach Sloth feels it is too painful to reflect upon growing up in a human’s world as a mere sloth covered in algae hanging off of trees. Currently few are interested in the secret lives of sloths excluding the valiant efforts of a select few biochemists who realize that sloth algae could provide a plethora of life-extending and life-improving pharmaceuticals. 

                Until such time as scientists are able to cure common ailments using sloth back algae, there is Beach Sloth’s debut poetry collection. Sure maybe Beach Sloth’s debut poetry collection will be unable to cure the common cold but it can improve the spirit and isn’t that just as good, if not better? There is a lot of harshness in life a lot of people who feel like doing it alone. Life does not need to be that way. People are social creatures and with Beach Sloth’s debut poetry collection people will feel closer together. And that is better than any medicine. 

                Go HERE to learn more about the importance of Beach Sloth’s debut poetry collection,how to order, and how to have a fun time in general. 

Note for Book Price: While I have a 'pay what you want' feature I would say that the minimum suggested price for the book is $13 US/Canada, $18 International (I figure I am going to be sending a lot of stuff internationally).

Monday, July 27, 2015

Beach Sloth is creating Blogs

                Beach Sloth is a project I created officially on July 27th, 2010. I love blogging about people. There is so much culture to explore and support. Ever since I began Beach Sloth I have not needed a TV for anything. My life has been fulfilled seeing what wonderful pieces of work made it online into my browsers, my emails, my PDFs, my videos, and my music. Honestly thanks to Beach Sloth I have been exposed to more culture than I could ever possibly wrap my arms around. 

                That is why I created a Patreon account. I could use a few sponsors to help me meet my monthly expenses which are pretty small. I live frugally. At this point I do not need much to survive since I have cut down what I consider my needs. What I do know that I need, what I am passionate about, is all the wonderful people I have reviewed on this blog. Countless individuals that I have been fortunate enough to meet have become incredibly close friends, the kinds of friends that I can confide in and treat just like those people I have met in person.

                Financial support for Beach Sloth gives me a reason to spend a greater amount of time on auxiliary aspects of the project. Already I have released an e-book through Amazon, a chapbook I printed myself, an album free for download, an e-book released for free through Peanut Gallery Press (which has been favorably mentioned by Dennis Cooper), and a book through Dig That Book Co. So I try to keep Beach Sloth as active as I possibly can. 

                Everything I create for the blog shall continue to be free. I have great plans for Beach Sloth, including an eventual full-length book, another full-length album offered free of charge, and smaller e-books and chapbooks. People who feel like contributing money to me via Patreon can do so right

                I also understand a lot of my readership cannot afford to support me via Patreon. My presence on Patreon will not change anything about what I can for the blog. All it means is if someone wants to support me financially outside of the usual avenues of:

And – my Paypal account, which has since become an MEME 

             Recently I have also decided to start a Fiverr account which basically expands what I do on a regular basis into new forms. If you are interested in my Fiverr work (want something written, shared, re-tweeted, etc.) you can go:


They can. It is that simple. Nothing else will change. I shall continue Beach Sloth, this passion project of mine, because I think that what I do is rewarding in ways outside of mere monetary concerns. My ultimate goal for Beach Sloth is to have it financially support me and a small group of writers I particularly like (I have people in mind for this). That is far away but with Patreon that can become considerably easier. Thank you for reading this and thank you for coming to my little corner of the universe. 

                Additionally I would like to thank everyone who has been able to support me on Patreon. It means more to me than I can possibly express.

Monday, February 23, 2015

Advertising on Beach Sloth

                Today on this old Blog I have a special announcement: I am offering advertising up to whoever is interested. By no means is this going to dramatically change much of anything. After a few years of pouring my heart and scroll into this fine invention I’m ready to take things to the next level. 

                Advertising is in a few forms. Anybody interested in advertising can feel free to contact me at the following address:


                I use that address exclusively for anything payment or Beach Sloth business related. That address proved to be infinitely helpful whenever I have sold T-shirts or chapbooks. Anybody can buy either of those things from me still. 

                T-shirts, Buttons, Etc. go here.
                Chapbooks go here.

                I offer a few things for advertising purposes. As the blog is now an increasingly smaller part of what I do I also offer other places to advertise:

                My Twitter
                My Tumblr

                My advertising efforts have already begun prior to this post. Nobody has noticed yet so I figured now would be a great time to take things to the next level. Whoever is interested in advertising through any of my online platforms can do so. Simply email me, let me know what you need, what sort of prices you would be willing to pay, and what kind of advertising you are hoping to do (music, literature, other products, etc.). 

                Thus far my advertising efforts have been pretty successful since they have reinforced rather than taken away from what I have already done. Beach Sloth is a huge passion project for me. I hope to continue doing exactly what I love doing on all platforms. This project has taken on a life of its own. My initial estimate for the length of Beach Sloth was a year, tops, maybe two years. Now it is close to entering its fourth year, hence my desire to try and make this more sustainable for me. 

                Note that I am going to continue this Blog for the indefinite future. There is no specific end in sight for this site. I want to continue doing this with the least amount of interruption possible. I am infinitely thankful for everything everyone has managed to do for me. I have received great support for this project which is why it has continued this long. 

                Whoever is interested in simply donating me money (through the kindness of their heart) can do so via my PayPal account: I will continue to blog for you. That is a promise.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Sleater-Kinney – No Cities to Love

                Sometimes I get lucky. I am not going to lie. For the past couple of months I have been on a tremendous Sleater-Kinney kick. Every time I listen to their old albums (they broke up in 2006) I think to myself “Wow I want this group back”. With the help of the 2010s reunion vibe going on, I hoped against hope that Sleater-Kinney would one day return to set things right, to essentially do all the things I liked about them. 

                They did. “No Cities to Love” is the answer I have wanted for a while. Back with their full energy it sounds as if they never left. I greatly appreciate it. A lot of bands have gotten back together after a long hiatus with mixed results. My Bloody Valentine got back together and had a respectable album. So did Polvo, though nobody cares about Polvo except me and about ten people, so there’s that. For bigger events there has been a tinge of disappointment. The Pixies came back with an album so bland it could be played in a CVS and nobody would bat an eye. Yes it was that dismal. Honestly I wish the most recent album by the Pixies didn’t exist. 

                “No Cities to Love” seems likely to avoid a tepid fate. Sleater-Kinney never built up a following that big. Rather they were content to be yet another band out of the Pacific Northwest doing whatever they thought was best. Judging from their first song “Bury Our Friends” it seems they are back. Hopefully they can have the rest of the album sound that good, and perhaps even get a nice guest spot on Portlandia? Only time will tell.

I’m Sorry about the Thing You Love by Sara Sutterlin

                Intimacy is a helluva way to go. Lots of people give themselves up to intimacy all the time in ways they do not realize. To be a bully is to be intimate with someone. While the person may dislike the bullying they may find themselves inexplicably drawn to the person. Not aware of what they can do about their feelings they take it out on people in harsh unforgiving ways. Yet the strongest thing that comes out of the relationship is forgiveness though that forgiveness takes a while. 

                Softness happens with forgiveness. When a person gets soft it is considered an insult like they lost their edge. The problem with an edge is that a person’s edge can cut people out of their life. Bitterness tends to do that, unintentionally usually. Nothing compares to the joys of sleep letting a person simply mellow out with the help of freshly washed sheets. Beds are made to serve as comforts to individuals to let them know that even with all the cruelty in their life they are safe in their bed. 

                Facebook refuses to protect anyone. Facebook serves as a place of hostility. Nobody is happy when they are on Facebook. They are trying to kill time to watch it pass away right before their eyes. Enter keys get sticky when a person is on Facebook. Computers try to prevent people from signing on though their efforts are in vain. Everybody wants to be on Facebook but nobody wants to spend a lot of time in the Internet’s gutter. 

                Peppermint spit is too good for the Internet’s gutter. Peppermint spit comes from tooth brushing one of the most important things a person does in a day. By brushing one’s teeth the mouth can become clean once more. Such cleansing of the mouth lets the next day’s voice ring that much truer. For cavities can form making the words seem hollow. A clean mouth is a respectable mouth. 

                Lazy rivers happen only in America. Everyone in America works a tremendous amount of time expending great energy. In America individuals outdo nature trying to make an entire continent bow before its many whims. The experience is surreal. Rivers are shown as a way of slowing things down in America after Americans took it upon themselves to create the Erie Canal, the Panama Canal, to make it possible to traverse new lands and save time.