Who the Eff is Peterbd?

                Peterbd is a mysterious internet presence currently residing in internet city, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty. Occasionally he sends out emails which make the recipient’s day. No one has ever met or heard of Peterbd. Speculation exists he may or may not be working hard on his anonymous presence in order to bring out his true title: 2018 Poet Laureate. I could be wrong, I just don’t know. 

                I wonder though: why would be anonymous on the internet? What value do you get from hiding yourself from screaming throngs of fans? As Sisqo once said “That throng, th throng throng throng” Sisqo has moved on since that song, becoming an ambassador for peace, a near-modern day Robin Hood, stealing booty from the rich in booty and giving it to the booty-less. Truly Sisqo is a man of our times, a man who, unlike Peterbd, has allowed himself to face his adoring public.

                This is the first time anyone’s really focused on Peterbd. Personally, that’s a shame. Any contact I’ve had with Peter has been beyond engaging. It became Post-Engaging, when I get so engaged I don’t even know how I lived before that email. Yep, Peterbd changed my life. He can change yours too. Or so I’d imagine, except if you’re Peterbd. 

                Going onto Peter’s only known information outside of emails we arrive at his Tumblr. It is filled with countless literary references to such giants as Shaun Gannon, Justin Carter, and others. Even among his contacts there has been some confusion. Justin Carter couldn’t decipher Peter’s tone or intention. Peterbd doesn’t have an intention or tone. Peterbd simply is. 

                Of course Peter isn’t alone in remaining anonymous on the internet. Plenty of dwellers from internet city choose anonymity. In fact, one of those dwellers may be really close to you right now. They may have typed out something extremely relevant. Yep, I’m talking about none other than Carles, the famous blogger from Hipster Runoff. Isn’t it interesting how we’ve never seen Carles and Peterbd in the same place? Makes you wonder, doesn’t it? Why don’t the two of them have some kind of joint Podcast deal where they respond to curious online lookers? I could tell you why, but that would leave you even more confused. 

                A few other queries about Peterbd: does he live in Houston, Texas? Does he play the guitar, abet in a strange, uniquely personal way? Could Peterbd be a pseudonym for Jandek, since Jandek hasn’t gotten around to creating a website yet and wanted to comment on people’s blogs anonymously? I think that’s the best idea I’ve had so far. Also, why does Peterbd enjoy elaaiine’s twitter so much, besides it being uniformly excellent?

                Really, there are no answers to these questions. I know the truth is out there, kind of like the truth about space aliens but way more important to my life. Right now the only thing I know for certain is Peterbd will probably be sending me a lengthy email after this.