I wonder if my life would be interesting as a power point presentation. Obviously I’m not alone in this thought. Many people use power point each and every day. Whenever I give a presentation about blogging, I think to myself: would people be able to stay awake for a whole presentation on my life?
Thus far I’ve had a fascinating life. A father of three children living on a farm in rural Maryland, I’ve got the life. In the summers my kids work diligently picking crops in the hot sun. My job is to motivate them by occasionally going up to them, patting them on the head and saying ‘good job’ before I continue to re-watch the entire series of ‘Freaks and Geeks’ on DVD.
Yep, it certainly has been a roller coaster of excitement. First I was born. Then I worked for a couple of decades, got married, had kids, but most importantly started a blog. Blogging would be on that power point presentation.
Below is a short outline of the main points of life as a power point. Though my experiences may differ from yours, I hope it will be helpful in letting you truly discover yourself. With our attention spans considerably shortened, this power point would be crucial in any estate planning. Your heirs will be able to talk about your life with an outline already made. Plus you won’t even need to do the whole ‘life flashing before my eyes’ nonsense. Instead you can simply load power point and get the basic gist of what you accomplished in life.
1. Birth – this isn’t really much of an accomplishment. I didn’t do much.
2. When my parents discovered I was alt – my first word in life was ‘indie’. My parents took me to a doctor to see what this meant. I remember what the doctor told them. ‘Your child will have a fascination with independent films, music, and literature. I’m sorry. There’s nothing I can do to change this disposition. You’ll simply have to acknowledge some children are born alt; others have alt thrust upon them. Make sure your child never combs their hair.’ And I never did, not even once.
3. I kissed a girl – and I liked it.
4. I got my first radio – Some people say finding religion or Nemo changed their life. For me, it was listening to the radio and taping my favorite shows. I still have the tapes and have a fondness for them.
5. Learning how to ride a bike – this calms me down. Little did I know bicycle riding would transform people into hipsters, or maybe I knew it all along?
6. The digital revolution – we are still fighting it. Suck it reality. Someday computers will overtake reality and I’ll have more time to blog.
7. My first CD – CDs are basically our generation’s 8-track tapes. When I got my first one it was immediately after watching Rocky Horror Picture Show, a movie which forever changed how I live my life.
8. My first job – I remember my first job fondly. I was a lifeguard. I saved people. I learned how to twirl and whistle. Lifeguarding also taught me how to get free food since I was a swim coach.
9. The first blog – Truth be told, my first blog was terrible. I basically wrote it every day and nobody read it.
10. Living on my own – this was fun. Though I didn’t enjoy coming back to my dorm and seeing my roommate ‘whacking it’ all the time. Wish I could un-see all of that.
11. A real job – Having my own cubicle gave me a sense of ownership I cannot describe.
12. Beach Sloth – I embraced my inner sloth by writing vast quantities of material, trying to distill my experience and relationship with culture. This is an ongoing process.
For this power point I’d probably have some cheesy animations, like a fade in. The birth slide would have something like a star animation, showing how a star was born. Using the star animation would probably help me feel a bit better about myself. None of the slides would include any pictures of me. A few would have pictures of Tim Curry from ‘Rocky Horror Picture Show’ because why not.
Point to the power in your life!
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