We are living in great times. Failure is still an option. And for those who have spent decades working, consciously building up a reputation, it is utterly joyful to see how hard they fall. Lou Reed and Metallica have made the ultimate vanity project, something so positively stupid you have to hear it to believe it. Hearing it you’ll have to hold back laughter during some of the worst part. Could ‘Lulu’ be the aural equivalent of ‘Battlefield Earth’?
The question is worth asking. For that movie had a similar scenario: great big names (John Travolta) a lot of dedication (ever see a Lou Reed/Metallica fan that wasn’t rabid) and oodles of money (I think Metallica wipe their ass with the skin of endangered white rhino skin). It bombed. On average, the reviews of ‘Battlefield Earth’ were so overwhelmingly negative it became a sport to come up with obnoxious one-liners to describe what utter rubbish it really was.
‘Lulu’ has finally allowed extreme, no-holds bar insult flinging to occur in our fair music review ecosystem. This doesn’t surprise me. On average, the waste excreted by Lou Reed or Metallica has greater listen-ability than ‘Lulu’. Both artists have truly tested the waters of indulgence with this offering. I’m impressed. To top their previous ambition and pretension is no laughing matter. Lou Reed released “Metal Machine Music” to overwhelmingly negative reviews. Metallica is Metallica. Not sure how to break down their mystique. Suffice it to say Metallica had an album titled “Load” followed by the album “Reload”. So we’re talking about some pretty smart people.
I’m thankful to both artists for making this possible. We’ve gone quite some time without such a colossal failure of an album. Glad to see hunting season is once again upon us. To celebrate this momentous occasion, I’ve decided to directly quote from the Lulu album. Below is a sampler from the appropriately titled “Junior Dad”
This song is a cock
I’ll fuck your ear
Let me be clear
Suggest this album to all of your peers
I want this to be a best seller
So I can re-furbish my cellar
Oak paneling of pure delight
0 comments:
Post a Comment