Shaun Gannon’s Syllabus

                Well, do I have a scoop for you! Remember that chill guy Shaun Gannon who shouts all of his poems for some reason? Something great has happened in Shaun’s life, something that will improve the lives of generations of Americans. 2012 mark that down on your calendars. Everything changes next year as Shaun Gannon adds yet another skill to his employment toolbox. Being a writer of poetry is one thing, but teaching is an entirely different ballgame. 

                Due to extremely good relations with said writer Shaun Gannon, having discussed yacht rock at length with him, I have received an advanced copy of the syllabus for his course. He’s always around borrowing sugar from me too. If I took his course, I’m certain I’d do really well, getting a B+ due to my previous experience blogging with him. Hopefully he can mold America’s youth, from shapeless blobs into fully-formed human beings. 

                Introduction to Creative Writing 101

I AM SHAUN GANNON AND I'M GOING TO BE YOUR TEACHER THIS SEMESTER AND LOOK FORWARD TO WORKING WITH ALL OF YOU.

I AM SHAUN GANNON AND MY OFFICE HOURS ARE THE ENTIRE DAY AND WEEK FOR I AM ALWAYS WITH YOU.

I AM SHAUN GANNON AND I ADVISE YOU TO SUBMIT ALL ASSIGNMENTS VIA BLACKBOARD. A BLACKBOARD COURSE IS SET UP FOR THIS COURSE. YOU ARE EXPECTED TO CHECK THE SITE THROUGHOUT THE SEMESTER AS BLACKBOARD WILL BE A PRIMARY VENUE OF OUTSIDE CLASSROOM COMMUNICATIONS BETWEEN YOU AND ME. 

I AM SHAUN GANNON AND I EXPECT EVERYONE TO PARTICIPATE.

I AM SHAUN GANNON AND CLASS PARTICIPATION IS 30% OF YOUR GRADE.

I AM SHAUN GANNON AND WHEN YOU SPEAK IN CLASS SPEAK AS IF YOUR WORDS ARE IN ALL CAPS. 

I AM SHAUN GANNON AND WANT TO HEAR YOU SPEAK.

I AM SHAUN GANNON AND WANT TO MAKE THIS AN INTERACTIVE CLASS. 

I AM SHAUN GANNON AND WILL RESORT TO COLD CALLING TO MAKE THIS A WARM BLOODED CLASS.

I AM SHAUN GANNON AND I WILL NOT ACCEPT TARDINESS. 

I AM SHAUN GANNON AND WANT EVERYONE IN CLASS TO HAVE AN INDOMITABLE WEB PRESENCE.

I AM SHAUN GANNON AND THE “LETPEOPLEPOEMS” PROJECT COUNTS FOR 20% OF YOUR GRADE.

I AM SHAUN GANNON AND I DRESS BETTER THAN YOU.

I AM SHAUN GANNON AND I HOPE WE HAVE A GREAT TIME TOGETHER THIS SEMESTER. FAILURE TO HAVE A GREAT SEMESTER WILL BE MET WITH THE STRONGEST GRIMACE I CAN POSSIBLY MUSTER AND GETTING TAGGED IN THE BEBE ZEVA FACEBOOK THREAD, FROM WHICH THERE IS NO ESCAPE. 

                There’s some grading rubric associated with his class too. I didn’t post it out of boredom. For the final they have to create some sort of viral YouTube video where they shout for roughly 8 to 10 minutes. Among the books required are a few Tao Lin books, a Steve Roggenbuck chapbook, and at least one button down sweater. Steely Dan’s ‘Aja’ is pre-requisite listening before the class begins.

                I am Beach Sloth and I support Shaun Gannon’s teaching career.