How to Make Orange Sauce by Steve Roggenbuck

                Orange sauce is Steve’s newest hobby. He discusses orange sauce in his intense Baltimore-filmed vlog post. You’ve probably seen it. It probably changed your life. That video has become a total hit on the internet, gaining a ton of notes, re-blogs and so forth. Steve Roggenbuck got all of that sweet internet loving. 

                Tonight he continued with the orange sauce theme from North Carolina. People were excited. Usually Steve’s ustreams involve poetry. Culinary arts were a new treat, a welcome addition to Steve’s repertoire. So far Steve has vlogging, writing, boosting, and hiking around the delightful East Coast and Midwest.

                Steve implored everybody to come into the chat. Jack Gooding had some success. Every chat he asks for a simple thing: to see Steve topless. Nothing happens. Steve keeps his shirt on, his sweatshirt on, and remains fully clothed. Tonight though, he changed. He took off his shirt. Jack Gooding had never come this close to his goal. Maybe someday Jack Gooding will see a topless Roggenbuck. Time will tell. 

                Next to Steve was a bowl of oranges. They kept falling. They were excited to be pounded. The oranges were so sexually repressed and needed sweet release. Steve tenderly touched each one of them. He picked them up and caressed his face with them. The oranges complimented Steve’s T-shirt, the North Carolina victory T-shirt. 

                We watched Steve peel oranges. Steve promised to read excerpts of his up-coming book ‘Crunk Juice’. He promised to read it. But this orange sauce, man, it needed to be made. More than any other sauce, orange sauce boosts beyond belief. People demanded a reading. They demanded he take his shirt off. So Steve did the honorable thing and read it up. 

                Steve stood in the middle of a flower. The flower was for yoga. To me it looked like a ‘Bro’ flower. On each side of Roggenbuck people were literally boosting him. He was lifted and for a few moments he felt true inner peace. After his inner peace he jumped around like a psychotic madman to the hottest background dubstep. 

                People witnessed something rare: a re-blog by Steve Roggenbuck. It was a re-blog of his inner peace. I didn’t think inner peace could be captured by a screenshot. I thought wrong. You can also re-blog inner peace, tweet inner peace, and share inner peace on Facebook. 

                ‘Crunk Juice’ comes out in mere weeks. Get excited. Get buying. Steve spends every day and night working on his book. Don’t worry. When it is out, it’ll be out. You can touch the book. You can feel the book. Most of all you’ll be supporting an artist practicing his craft. Imagine if you bought the first Andy Warhol painting. Now multiply that by Roggenbuck. 

                ‘Pound me, pound me’ the oranges cried. Steve sat outside with a ‘tenderizing’ item. Everyone watched as Steve went outside to pound some oranges. Oranges are the sluts of the fruit world. You get past that thick skin and they are sweethearts. Then you eat their delicious innards. They love it to death, in a literal, dying sense. 

                An entire orange fit in Steve’s mouth. Random people on the porch advised Steve about the ‘Space Jam’ website. I’ve seen the website before. I agreed with these random people. The whole site is mid-90s HTML greatness. It is the most amazingly outdated website ever. It is the ‘King Tut’s Tomb’ of the internet. Nothing has changed since the mid-nineties. Please go there. It will change your life. 

                Steve ate orange sauce on cam. We cheered up on. Apparently the illuminati eat orange sauce mixed with apple sauce before they become masters of the universe. It makes sense to me. That’s why I eat so many oranges each and every day. The random people stood around him getting some of the sacred sauce. Nathan Cheese-step had some sauce in his beard, which baptizes a beard into the Unitarian church (little known fact). 

                 Outside they danced. Steve debuted one of his rare dance moves. Reptile cheese step came out. Nathan Cheese Step began to dance. We witnessed the rare beast of the Cheese Step. No one thought the ustream could handle it. The ustream immediately took a cold shower after that. It did so by simply crashing. Steve’s boost came too fast. It couldn’t keep up so it simply dropped him like a sack of sexy, sexy potatoes. 

                Unfortunately Steve returned as a pig-human hybrid. He read Satanic poetry what we learned was a pig mask. The poems were dark and fucked-up. I mean, smile with the dead girl’s face is pretty dark. People around him loved it so much. ‘Dead Girl you are Dead’ was another dark poem about rain consisting of dead five year children. 

                Karaoke hour came up. Poetry and karaoke complement each other quite well. Like poetry, karaoke is generally enjoyed by the bourgeois. Remember it was Lenin who first sang “Hands up, baby hands up, gimme gimme your love so I may re-distribute it”. Steve sang like some Midwestern angel. It brought tears to my eyes. 

                The best quote of the night “Get a tattoo on your penis saying ‘Is it in you?’”. Can this be outdone? How about ye olde pipe organ? Yeah, that happened. Where were you? Were you there? Bet you can’t even imagine how dark it was. The only darker part was seeing the ‘knife corner’. 

                Steve Roggenbuck ended it talking about how great his dad is. It was a wonderful ending to the ustream. He meets so many people from posting on the internet. That warms my sloth heart. The internet is a wonderful, friendly place thanks in part to Roggenbuck.