Jacob Steinberg in Argentina

                Jacob Steinberg is everywhere. He’s in the Middle East, the birthplace of civilization, Florida, the death place of civilization, and Argentina, the birthplace of chill. In Jacob’s spare time he translates alt lit books into Spanish. With his tiny sliver of free time he does ustreams. Ustreams like this one. 

                Random Eurotrash dance music blasted. In the background was some cute babe. She sounded adorable. I tried to get her attention or at least have her read something. Jacob described me as a person whose entire presence is sloth based. When she heard that she mentioned she liked sloths. Of course everybody loves sloths. They are gaining popularity in Google searches, etc. 2012 is the year of the sloth. 

                Argentina has prepared itself for Jacob’s arrival. They failed. Nobody can prepare themselves for Steinberg’s love of life. He hangs out in the hippest parts of Buenos Aires. He explained to us where they were having poetry readings in the city. People appear to appreciate his IRL presence in Argentina, unlike in Florida with that guy who blew him off (metaphorically, not literally). 

                His first poem involved something about trees. A lunatic was in the shade. If someone’s hanging out in the shade in such a hot place, they seem pretty sane to me. Christ came up in the poem. Usually there isn’t much God in alt lite. Glad to hear some good old-fashioned alt lit Catholicism. Neon Indian will have a future EP out dedicated to his Catholic roots entitled ‘Should’ve taken Communion with you’. Actually I enjoyed this poem quite a bit; it was a long, descriptive piece.

                ‘Stranger’ came up next. Jacob started worrying about a lack of music. As we listened he set the room with his dance music. I wonder if Jacob has ever listened to something that wasn’t dance party. This one dealt with moving to other countries. Considering Jacob’s great travels this made sense. Jacob translated it as he read it, from Spanish to English. ‘Game Over/Porn’ followed this, first read in Spanish. He then read it in English for those in the chat not fortunate enough to be a polyglot. Some dance remix of ‘The Killers – Mr. Bright Side’ played in the background. It felt like the mid-2000s all over again.

                We heard a poem from the famous Pancho Espinosa. You may remember him for his immortalized chapbook. It was in Spanish. The poem discussed trying to hook up with a hot babe. Pancho wanted to be naked. But it just wasn’t going to happen. I liked the ending quite a bit. The ending was abrupt. 

                Jacob did something rare. He read a poem in English, Spanish, and Hebrew. It felt relevant hearing so many different languages. Alt lit is well-educated, maybe too well educated for its own good. I’m not sure. I know this cross-cultural sharing is a positive thing. Hope it continues. 

                ‘I’m not a slut, I’m a romantic’ which has become ‘world-famous’ got read. If you paypal Jacob a dollar he sends you a copy of the book. Maybe it can change your life. Maybe with that dollar Jacob can buy some Ramen and continue living the poverty-stricken jet-set lifestyle. 

                 ‘New Poem’ debuted. No one has ever heard this poem before. In fact Jacob didn’t even get around to writing the title for the poem. Jacob doesn’t want to be alone anymore. The poem goes over the loneliness of Jacob’s texting (sexting?) love. In fact Jacob read an uncovered poem, one he found while cleaning his room. Guess he has so much genius he literally ‘loses it’ sometimes. He even went all ‘Word Document archaeologist’ on us. He even read a poem of his that I read for my ‘extremely unsuccessful/successful’ ustream for ‘Superbowl Sunday’.

                ‘A Million Bears’ got read, Spencer Madsen’s debut book. He read the cats poems of the book. Spencer has been having a great 2012. Jacob states that this book may be published ‘for real’ by Muumuu House. Not sure if this is truth or simple speculation. I feel there could be truth behind it. The unseen woman (named Maria) in the background offered her opinion of Spencer’s work in the background. 

                Megan Boyle’s book was read by Mr. Steinberg. He dove headfirst into it. Usually people have certain pieces they read, and they are always the same pieces. Jacob read the really rare pieces. Guess being in Argentina makes you a more alt, relevant person. I like Megan’s web presence. It seems really positive to me. I hope she re-starts her Forumspring and Blogspot. Ones, if not tens of people miss her here on the internet. 

                The Spice Girls ended the ustream as Jacob Steinberg ate homemade pizza. Not only did Maria make Jacob pizza, she housed him. Jacob owes Maria hardcore. Hopefully she’ll be featured in future ustreams as the person speaking in the background. One can hope.