The moon looks red and the sky looks black and I can remember exactly how your heart sounds at any given moment by Keegan Crawford

                Leave it to Keegan Crawford to have such a colossal title. All his chapbooks appear to have some incredibly long title. Keegan, I challenge you to a shorter title. Please make your next chapbook title ‘Toy’ or something really short. Your titles are overwhelmingly huge. While I make this suggestion I’m not sure you’ll listen. Most likely your next title will be ‘various amphibians in post-coital states of DVD watching of a TV show that got cancelled by NBC and built up a large cult following’. 

                 The chapbook is set up as a ‘choose your own adventure’ for the alt lit set. You can pick whatever order you want. For the purpose of creativity I picked the bottom option for each one of these options. Choose your own adventure though. The setup is made for that kind of thing. 

                First we hear about the elegy to yellow. Connor Yates Keegan never liked you. Sorry you had to Google your name to find out you were a jerk. You probably should have known that already. I sympathize with Keegan about the ill-fitting T-shirts. Growing older can mean you give up some of your favorite clothes. I know this well as I’m a 37 year old father of three from Fargo, North Dakota. The only advice I can give you is don’t worry. My kids certainly will be wearing the ‘Butthole Surfers’ when they reach the appropriate age of seven. I imagine how cool they’ll be at elementary school with a picture of a hideous medical ailment on their shirt. 

                Yawning burns calories. Everything is pasta except actual pasta. The pasta is a lie. Clothing doesn’t hide people. Typing things to people on the internet is my main form of exercise. Hopefully Keegan writes more to me so I can burn those calories. Hope Keegan doesn’t murder America. I live there. It seems relatively chill. Maybe America could be even chiller. America should probably take a chill pill instead of all those goofball pills it has been downing. 

                I get disliking eating and work. But don’t hate on tomatoes. You know what happens when tomatoes get mad? They get even. Did you ever see ‘Attack of the Killer Tomatoes’? That was Earth! I don’t wear jackets. Regarding ‘Jurassic Park’ that is going to happen. It is based off of fact. Dinosaurs are going to chomp on our delicious delicate parts. Hope Daft Punk rules the world someday. Before that happens they need to come out with another, better album. 

                The dreams seem dark. I practice lucid dreaming every day. When I go to sleep I’m a person who does normal people things during the day. At night I’m a sloth. It is a strange life. I am glad I’ve never successfully drowned. 

                I liked the many choices Keegan gives us. I like choices. I don’t like being told what order to read. I’m a freedom-loving sloth that’s why I live in America, land of the free, home of the brave. Hope Keegan keeps on keeping on with these delightful little pieces.