Now on OK Cupid!

                Should blogs have dating profiles? I have debated this very important topic for days, weeks, months, perhaps even years. Can a blog even have a personality? Can a blog have a gender or are blogs like frogs, with genders interchangeable? How could a blog date? What is the courtship process for a blog? Do you need to comment a lot, share links to each other? Is re-blogging the blog the equivalent of flirting? For Valentine’s Day do blogs simply write posts about each other? If two blogs mated, would the offspring be a twitter account?  I can’t be sure of the answers to any of these questions if I don’t take the next logical step. 

                Beach Sloth is on OK Cupid. I choose OK Cupid since that is where all the lit types go to get their grooves back, or to get grooves in the first place. OK Cupid has enough ridiculousness to make it a perfect choice for an arts-obsessed blog. I cover OK Cupid on a semi-regular basis anyway, why not return the favor? Dating is hard for a blog. It is even harder for anonymous blogs who lack a specific gender. But I think at this point people know. 

                I’m a male blog. At least that is what it says on my OK Cupid profile. But I doubt Beach Sloth will keep that gender constant. It shall be changed on a fairly regular basis to be funny, to be a silly blog with a dating site presence. Currently I am not in a relationship. I drink socially. I do not smoke. I’m online now. Send me a message. Wink at me. Let me know what you think of me. I want to know. Anybody who rates me with four or five stars will instantly pop up in my Gmail account. Then the courtship will begin. 

                 My hope with this experience is I’ll be called attractive. I’ll get one of those sweet-ass emails or messages saying how attractive I am. When I had an actual, IRL OK Cupid profile, I never received anything telling me how I looked good or was attractive. Perhaps being anonymous makes me more attractive. For if you don’t see anything, how can you possibly judge? 

                OK Cupid users should judge me on the content of my blog. They have no other way. I just want to be called attractive by a computer generated algorithm. I don’t think that is asking too much. I wonder if the real me is as attractive as the online presence me? 

                For Valentine’s Day I have a special request. It is okay if you don’t get me anything, I understand. But if you enjoy reading Beach Sloth, feel free to send me a sweet little message on OK Cupid. You know I’m just blogging for one right now. I may post some of the best little OK Cupid messages I receive on Valentine’s Day. I know this won’t give you that much time. But I want to hear from you. I want to know how you’re doing. Most importantly, by sending me a message, I really want to know “Do you have game?”

                So much of alt lit is flirting anyway. Consider this profile the logical conclusion. Maybe someday there will be a dating site devoted exclusively to alt lit. Until then we have OK Cupid.