Russ Woods (Love Stories): Brett Elizabeth Jenkins (Hate Stories)

                Ah yes, this is one of those ‘chapbook splits’ I’m hearing so much about. I like the idea of a musical idea infecting the literary community. I can’t wait until the 7’ format becomes widely adopted in the alt lit community. I think that may make the world a marginally better place. 

                Russ Woods is a chill, loving caring, individual. Brett Jenkins hates your goddamn, stinking, good-for-nothing face. Their ideas occur simultaneously. I like how Russ wants to talk to you and Brett wants you in a Motel 6. Though one may argue they are both forms of affection in some way. The next piece, with the car, makes it very clear that Brett really hates your face and wants to run you over with a car. Good thing Brett writes alt lit, so she can’t afford a car. She probably walks everywhere and wistfully watches cars pass her by. 

                Waterworld is not that great of a movie. I would prefer a Furby to shut my trap. Russ somehow gets access to a time machine, but doesn’t use it for anything besides participating in our destructive consumer culture. At least Brett isn’t falling for that malarkey. Got to admit the ‘Bill Nye’ reference wins me over. Who cares if Brett hates you? You’re on Bill Nye, that Science Guy’s show. 

                I like the creepiness of the eye doctor. I like the creepiness of the root canal, particularly the harsh tone about the latex gloves. That is really mean but kind of funny. For the ‘Star Wars Prequels’ I love the line so much I want to recreate it “I am so tired from all this pod racing and sex”. That is one of the best lines in the whole damn piece. The Play Place at McDonalds strikes me as a bit gross, not really a place to pick up people. Brett eats food in front of you. I prefer Brett’s hateful behavior than Russ’s weird pickup places. 

                ‘A Love Story Set in a Romantic Comedy’ sounds nice. I don’t have any family photos so I don’t know how cropping works. I want to be E.T. Weirdly I like the Carousel one more though, because this is something I have wanted to do for a very long time. Anyone within proximity to me let us chase each other on a Carousel. I am not joking. Brett wins huge point for me for the single line “I would rather read Atlas Shrugged”. Ouch. That hurts. Russ’s reference to the Magic School Bus, uh, that is perfect. I miss that bus. 

                Russ or Brett: who wins? I have no idea. I say Russ because I like the positive energy. Brett really does a good job of being a dick, no easy task. Overall I am glad both sides of relationships are presented in this small little chapbook.