Keep This Bag Away From Children #2

                ‘The Second Time Around’ played at Obama’s inauguration. Like that event, this one is worth celebrating. Few thought the bag could continue to be kept away from children. Children certainly love playing with bags. Good thing there is the publication ‘Give this box to children’ to keep them occupied. Little replica people (better known as children) love the lack of intelligence associated with ‘Give this box to children’ which also includes mazes and a pathetically simple crossword puzzle. One should read this little collection of feel good stories that the entire family cannot enjoy. For this is an adult pleasure. 

                Melissa Broder wears surprisingly nice leather shows. Yes there is an occasion happening in her life. One must dress the part in a classy scenario. Nothing is classier than sex in the back of an unmarked van. Some call it revolution. Some call it gross. Those who call it gross will never know the joys of van sex. 

                James Payne sees his friend needs something on a wall. It is the wall. The wall holds the roof up. Portraits of people capture vanity forever. Long after one is dead others can wonder why such an ugly person bothered getting a picture. 

                Erik Stinson displays the pain of the micro-celebrity. Few understand this pain. The plight of the micro celebrity is the sheer size, or lack of size. Micro celebrity fits in the palm of the hand. Generally the micro celebrity must be hidden. Only a tiny percentage of the world’s population gets it. In the area of mass customization the micro celebrity is an important link, between art and commodity. 

                Mark Thomas Stevenson is a buffalo head. Few are. Lately buffalo herds are returning to the wild wild West. Ever since that Will Smith movie came out people are discovering the joys of being a mighty buffalo. 

                Dwight Pavlovic watches the newborn day and the dying day. They are the same thing. They look the same. Seeing the sunset is romantic. Seeing the sunrise is a little depressing. People should sleep in for the sunrise. That is what the sun wants, just a little privacy. 

                Sophia Diaz realizes the world stinks. It literally smells. Commutes smell of sadness. This means a phone call made too loudly. Various pastries introduced and brandished about. Morning breath is dreary. Afternoon breath is delightful. People need time to warm up with the help of the sun’s rays. 

                David Fishkind has too many choices in life. When he lives he has a ton of choices. Death only has one choice. In the afterlife nobody can buy pickles from the local deli. Next he falls asleep on the couch getting bathed in sexy TV light. He eats an egg roll. David Fishkind loves to eat. 

                Eric Tyler Benick worries about caring. Here he offers helpful hints on how to keep the mind nimble. That includes new hobbies. Every hobby intends to keep people busy. Usually just buying things keeps people entertained. For weird people though objects are not enough. They need ‘culture’. They avoid their minds turning to porridge. 

                Maggie Lee developed as a person before other persons knew her. Her memories are for sharing but only to a degree. Baby photos exist for those non-existent memories. Yet Maggie remembers everything. Poor Maggie hates herself. That is a harsh assessment. Love for oneself is the best thing anybody can do. Lots of people put each other down. Few lift others up. Those who lift up are remembered, with the detractors forgotten. 

                DJ Berndt messes with birds. He suffers no difficulties from this. Birds are seriously stupid. They can’t fight back. Shoes confine. DJ mows his lawn barefoot with sunblock. DJ is a true dad. Wind whips him around. He can’t fight it. 

                Myles Dunigan draws an unbelievably detailed picture. 

                Noah Cicero has a low opinion of other people’s families. The father enjoys having fun on the internet, via racism and pornography that reinforces that racism. The son is a total creeper and goes into school bathrooms looking for ‘good times’. The sister goes to wild parties, does wild things, and will end up being a totally boring average person. The mother is disappointed in everything. 

                Mark Thomas Stevenson enjoys his triangles, also known as one-dimensional pyramids. 

                And this is only part one. Part II gets even deeper, darker, and downright decadent with plums, kisses, and the end of the world, though not all at the same time.